Gratitude makes the journey better and so does kindness

Month: November 2011 Page 1 of 2

Acceptance or Something Like That

We want it. I know I did for the longest time, I still am at times when the ground gets a bit shaky to walk straight. I think we are genetically programmed to seek acceptance. Maybe a projection from those early days of childhood when acceptance meant love and survival, and cuddles too, which are part of the survival package come to think of it. But as adults, why do we still chase that elusive beast. It’s a whimsical fastidious one, you’ll have to admit. And to make matters even more interesting, we want acceptance badly from the people who are least inclined to bestow such things on us to begin with. Why don’t they, you’ll ask, if you’re a worthy enough fellow? I asked that question myself enough times to get dizzy. Just because, I’d say, that’s the best answer, really. The thing is, once we get that acceptance we strut around with it on our heads for a bit and then move on. We don’t actually need it for survival it turns out. Not even for emotional survival, the most finicky one of all. If we tether our emotional well-being to that short-lived thing that acceptance from others really is, well, there is a high chance that the first breeze will get us untied and then what? Floating with a chance of falling is not sustainable.
So here’s what I think: It’s alright to know your worth, be humble enough to know there’s room for improvement and accept the fact that some people are not willing to offer the acceptance you’re after. Usually by the time I’m done with this pep talk I stop and look at the other side of the mirror: Am I accepting enough of people around me? Do I make them feel that or do they first notice the occasional raised brow of judgement being thrown at them. See, no one is perfect. Just as long as we know. It makes the whole game fair, don’t you say? Feel free to share your thoughts, looking forward to reading them.

Spelling Right (With a Big Fat Pun On the Side)

This is how I think of it: In a country with a high literacy rate like Canada spelling correctly is something that should be as obvious as blinking. Sounds cold but it isn’t. This is why: If we share at least one word with the world out there that word should be as clean and proper as a groom on his wedding day. Because we owe it to the ones who taught us the language, to the ones who wrote tomes of insightful beauty using it and simply because it’s everybody’s right to get to that level of knowing his/her own language so that spelling correctly is not even an issue.

Every language is beautiful, it has most likely happened to you as it has to me many times. I listen to someone speak their native language and I do not understand one word of it but I am spellbound. I am fascinated with witnessing people constructing sentences, sharing ideas or sweet nothings in a language I don’t know. Reading correctly spelled words is a treat.

Why do we misspell? My first guess is because we don’t read enough. Because we are living life in a hurry and it’s a bit of a mental hurdle to mind yet another thing. We have writing programs that do the spelling for us. That’s good, as a backup. But it’s not the same. It’s quite something to own the knowledge of spelling a word – or many of them for that matter – correctly. I’d call it honoring a language.

So you see why it bugs me to see words butchered, because they are these refined tiny entities which you gather together in bunches called sentences and then you paint the world around with them. And I don’t care how crazy some sentences are, creativity is a thing of beauty, it really is and boundaries become this relative thing that ideally should not be abused, but there should be one rule: No spelling mistakes. Agree?

 

 

 

Let The Playing Children Play

“Hey, miss shoulders, you’re not paying attention! You gotta move side to side, like this.”

“Come on, buddy, kick, kick…”

“You can do it, put your face in the water and blow bubbles! Two more times, sweetie…

Parent-turned-trainers work hard. These three did at least. So did the kids. Their ages ranged from three to I’d say eight or so. It was a rainy Saturday afternoon so the boys and I chose to go to the pool. People go there for fun, unless they really are enrolled in classes. Right? Right, but… yeah, it’s the parent-turned-trainers that made me reconsider my own actions. I’ve been there with this swimming thing. I admit taking the boys to the pool just for fun and finding myself play weekend trainer in a most shameless manner. Tony knew better than to give in so he did it half-hardheartedly just so he can go and play shortly after. I did it at least twice and every time I had a bit of a two-sided feeling gnawing at my good intentions: I know practice is good and should be encouraged, but if the kid asks to go to the pool and does not say specifically “Mom, I want to practise my swimming moves” then it means that he wanted to go to the pool to have fun. So I’d better just let him have fun. More even, join in and the moves will churn themselves right out through the water while I am chasing him in the pool.Which is what pool time was like yesterday with them. Lots of swimming, diving, blowing bubbles and kicking hard to not be tagged, oh, that was some serious swimming, I tell ya. A good workout at that.

Pressure is a merciless beast sporting a kind face, is it not. These days parents are its prey of choice, I’d say. Most kids are enrolled in one too many classes because they have to be well instructed and uber-performers in just about any areas, from music to sports and everything in between. Kids are over-scheduled and many resent it.

I don’t have the solution. I don’t point the finger either. It’s tough being a parent, knowing what to do and how to do it right. I wish we could all be a bit more relaxed and let kids enjoy their childhood, revive the good old playtime for the sake of …well, just playing, nothing more. And if their schedule abounds with classes and that Saturday afternoon is the only one left for fun, then they should have it, no questions asked, no sneaky para-training sliding in either. Just playing. Not sure about you, but I had that as a kid. Lots and lots of it. believe it or not playing engages children in ways that surprise adults. They run, jump, take the physical activities to the maximum, they play with music and numbers and they do it with passion. Children learn through playing, they do. So it only makes sense that we throw the parent-turned-trainer towel in and join in the fun. There has never been a better time.

 

 

Of Really Good Books

Every now and then I come across a book I enjoy so much it feels ticklish inside. A very warm feeling of goodness. “How to Write a Sentence” by Stanley Fish is one of them. I am reading it right now. “Peace Like a River” by Leif Enger is another, read it earlier this year. Some day I will write more about it.

Sunny day at Fort Langley

Sunny day at Fort Langley

Another one is “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. Over the years I got to read many books that wrapped me in that blanket of absolute pleasure where fingers clasp around the covers and you feel that the world will come at an absolute and sudden cold stop should you consider putting the book aside for a moment. Yet the goodness is complete when at the end of the book you don’t feel regret for not having more but deep satisfaction for having something so amazing enrich your life. A really good book leaves me complete of its words and ideas. Because the way I see it is that if you love a book that much your life changes with reading it. The way you wake up the next morning and every morning after that will be changed forever. The way you choose and read another book is changed forever. Because you’ve grown through it.

The Value Of Temporary Defeat

I went climbing yesterday after more than a half year absence from scaling walls. Missed it a lot but life happens and I have to honor its tumbles with as much dignity as I can muster. Oh well, a few months are not a major setback, I thought. Plus I’ve been training in the meantime so as you can guess smugness got the best of me. My first climb was good, the rest not so much. I slid off the walls like they were covered in butter. Fingers and forearms refused to listen, falling off the wall like dead flies and there was nothing I could do about it. Not sure about others but physical defeats such as this makes my blood boil in a most interesting way.

Temporary defeat makes me angry. There is value in getting angry like that though. It powers up the engines, you know. If anything, it is a good opportunity to reexamine limitations and get working on overcoming them. I’d say the first stage of temporary defeat is disappointment, and then anger sets in.  Much like a thunderstorm. It comes, gets the job done and then the sky is clear again. Getting stuck in disappointment means giving up. That’s not good. Getting angry enough to get back in the game once you figured out a way to better yourself is good. Then again, too much anger backfires, you lose momentum and the good energy goes “poof” all over the place. It’s like a dial you have to learn to turn just enough to get cranking at the right pace.

Next week I’ll hit the climbing gym again. New training routines are in place, there is enough humbleness to know where I stand and enough ambition to not give up. Nothing like being temporarily defeated by a wall, right?

On Being Thankful

I find Thanksgiving fascinating. Because I do believe that gratefulness is a beautiful state to be in. It opens eyes and hearts, it teaches humbleness, it makes room for understanding and kindness. And, in my opinion, it makes us reconsider the wants. Whenever I am thankful most of the wants take a free fall and liberation follows. Which brings me to the email that I got today about Black Friday. It said that it’s not fair for Canadians not to have their own Black Friday so let’s give them a hand. Killer deals, long hours, no shipping fees, just about anything to make people think they will strike gold if they buy more. The more you buy the more you need. Any takers? Logic and common sense dictate that it should be the other way around. The more you get the less you need, because the list diminishes as you buy things. The only glitch is that needs do not equal wants. And the metamorphosing of wants into needs is not something to be thankful for.  I am not American but I do admire and think very highly of the Thanksgiving celebration. But the shopping madness rubs me the wrong way. It does not belong with Thanksgiving. I feel there is little if any room left for feeling thankful when thoughts are being inundated with flyers, offers, screaming deals and such.
If anything, imagine that stores operate on reduced hours and some are even closed for the day and people are given space and time to be thankful. It’s easy to overlook those seemingly insignificant blessings when there is a lot of white noise from those Black Friday deafening deals. Yet another rant against consumerism, you’ll say. And you’re right, it is. My resentment against using any opportunity to make people think they need more things. I guess if I word it as “opportunity to make people want more” I create a bubble of hope. Because reasoning and thankfulness differentiate needs from wants. And that is what we need to get some much needed upper hand. Needs are needs and cannot be contested. Wants on the other hand are optional. It’s called having a choice. That’s empowerment, a good solid feeling. Having choices is something to be thankful for, no?
Happy Thanksgiving then!

Ethics vs. Principles

Here’s a question: Is your work ethical? I’ll give you an example. I am contemplating copywriting as a way to add to my writing bouquet. OK, for the sake of being honest, I will scrape that off and say it as it is. Copywriting pays well. If it’s done well of course. But you see, I have this big dilemma. (If it’s out of sheer ignorance then this would be a learning opportunity, we could never have enough of those.) So here it is, my big dilemma is about the ethical side of copywriting. I am slightly alarmed about consumerism. Been so for a while now. I buy what i need when I need it. With the exception of my racing bike which I could argue that it is a useful item, but of course it’s debatable. But I digress. Copywriting. If it’s marketing related then it encourages consumerism. Big time. Sure bills have to be paid, but do I throw ethics out the window and do it anyway? If I don’t and make a tiny ripple in the ethics-and-work pond, will it last to be seen by someone or will it just die too soon?
Is your work ethical? If yes, you’re lucky. If no, then do you do it anyway because you need to feed yourself and your family? How subjective can you get before it becomes a matter of principle – personal, that is – rather than just ethics? Is it just a matter of principle to begin with just rooted in ethics but with a strong personal dilemma?
So you’ll say how far can you take the issue until you’re tiring yourself and others out? Well, knowing myself, far enough. If I choose to bend my standards on consumerism for the sake of the aforementioned need to feed myself and my dependents, then am I not supposed to look further into the real ethics behind the actual business? Is it a fair one, fair wages, no child labor, no environmental exploitation, etc? See? It’s a tangled one.
Please feel free to share your thoughts. There is much to learn on the matter. I have barely scratched the surface. Agree?

Page 1 of 2

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén