Life Happens. Accept It

By | May 2, 2010

My mother passed away suddenly four years ago. Every year in April I put together a special memorial service for my mother and every year I am facing the same problem. Avoidance. That’s right. I think of her daily, but as this very sad anniversary approaches, my thoughts refuse to go forward. I postpone thinking about the memorial, and I postpone planning for it for as long as I can – yes, it’s May already. Why postponing, you ask? Because the memorial, which is something I want to do for my mother, makes the pain of not having her anymore very real. Once again. I go through the same cycle of avoidance, pain and then temporary sad acceptance every year. It doesn’t hurt less as the years go by, in case you’re wondering. More, I’d say. Maybe because everything happened so suddenly and I have yet to come to terms with it. Maybe because I was simply not ready. I can come up with quite a few reasons why. Well, here is the tough reality: it did happen.  And here is another one: ready or not, things happen. Emphasis on ready or not.
We are never ready for what comes. Good or bad, things happen every day. Some we have control over or we gain it as we go, some we don’t. And that’s a fact.

Life happens. Sometimes we end up hurt beyond belief and we get stuck, sometimes we feel inspired and blessed and we fly high, and sometimes, despite the rough sees, we seem to get through with our sails still up. What gives? Why are we sometimes able to get up and walk and other times we fall and get stuck? It’s the way we look at life. I am a feisty one. I have yet to learn to take things as they come. To accept them as they are. I need time and lots of it to accept life.

Time for a change. This year I plan to honour my mother – who was a peaceful optimistic warrior in her own special way – by remembering her courage to go on no matter what. Life happens. I will accept it and make the best of it. Because whether I accept it or not, life happens anyway. And accepting the things I cannot change is the first step towards getting unstuck.
 

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