It’s the journey that each of us have to take. Life that is. We are ushered into life and expected to make the best of it. Along the way, we stumble. Grind teeth, get up, keep going. We allow part of that grinding of teeth to be heard and discussed. “It’s hard, yes, but you can do it…” Or the opposite “Well, maybe this is not your thing after all…” Choose what fits and move along. We let parts of us be seen but, secretly so, we leave out the parts that make us feel inadequate. Because where inadequacy starts, so does fear of failure.
So we want to have companions for the journey. We find people along the way and we learn how togetherness gives one strength and inspiration. We bump into people and cannot believe the luck of it. What a gift! We laugh and cry on each other’s shoulders, we talk crazy talks and let each other peek into each other’s soul. We let parts of it be seen but, secretly so, we leave out the parts that make us feel inadequate. Because where inadequacy starts, so does fear of rejection.
We stumble upon things we love to do. Uplifting things, they fire you up and making you shiver with that unmistakable feeling of knowing you’re growing into a better you. You want that. Don’t we all? And nothing stands in the way or so you declare. That nothing is perfect you already know. But you boldly and stubbornly assume that (undeclared) perfection – a perfect you, a perfect plan, perfect days lined up like birds on a wire – would be the key to making that feeling immortal. You got it figured out. Or so you let others understand. You let them turn you every which way hoping that the small crack in the pants (inadequacy, fear of facing one’s limitations) will not be seen. We hope, secretly so, that we covered the parts that, once discovered, might reveal our inadequate nature. Or actions. Or habits.
Truth is – my truth, that is, which might or might not be universal – some inadequacy is part of life. It powers the next step. But that’s beside the point of today’s rumble. The point is, as we take the journey, we learn, we succeed and fail, we keep trying and then we learn again. And succeed at some and fail at others. And we might get cheers or be advised on how to do it better. The insight could be too much or too little. It happens. But there is always the one little presence tucked in a corner that will simply be there. Always. It’s you. Or me in this case. Always along for the ride, always privy to all the parts that we might be left out for fear of inadequacy. Always willing to give the gentle (or less so) shove that means come on now, don’t give up just yet…
Always there. And once we make peace with the truth that we truly only have ourselves for the ride at all times, and that nakedness of self is a state of being that makes the journey worthwhile, then we can let (some) people into our souls, we can show them the clear lakes and the stinky swamps, we can do things that we will succeed at with grace and others that will make us appear boorish and heading in the wrong direction.
But most of all, we will know that we are never alone no matter what and making peace with the one being that’s always there (until, that is, but we can overlook the obvious for now) is the first step towards that simple tingle in the heart that means I’m getting somewhere. And that somewhere is the point where your acceptance of yourself will allow you to accept others and make them comfortable with you seeing the parts of themselves, those parts that they, secretly so, have been hiding for fear of inadequacy. Because where inadequacy starts, so does fear of rejection. And lucky you, you have already learned that the two do not need to be associated anymore. For inadequacy is part of being alive. It powers us to take the next step. The courage to do so. And it allows you to be you. And it allows the ones around you to be themselves.
And that is, as far as I know, the first step towards that beautiful tingle in the heart that says we’re getting somewhere. Because we are.