Say you wake up to a scare so deep and primal that your brain is seeded with worry for the rest of the day. With fear too. Searching for a grip only takes you further down that vein of fear, all the way to the very place you’re almost never ready to look at.
Say you are faced with the possibility – even at that one percent or less – that your days could be numbered and your joy tethered to the darkest fear you’ve known. Unresolved, if not dark, but sometimes they are the same thing.
Entertain that thought for a few minutes, or for an entire day if you happen to not find the right tools to fight it off; if you need to understand its texture so you can kick it out for good, and while you do, tell me:
Would you waste any more days at all if you knew they are numbered? Would you make it so that at the end of each you could say “Well, that was not bad, not bad at all…”
Would you notice a ladybug strolling on a leaf and think for a second that you are in charge of its life, and so much more life around you depends on you because it does. Would you notice a budding sunflower and wonder at its miraculous turning after the sun, the very sun you love to but sometimes forget its daily blessing…
Would you keep doing what you’re doing now if you knew you’ll never get to wash away that waste-away feeling of yet another day of doing something you don’t like?
Would you waste an opportunity to be joyful if you knew joy could be crumpled up by forces that at least for a while would prove stronger than you?
Would you hug your children more? And more even?
Would you say “I love you” to the one who makes your world round again and again after every stumbling that gets you down and dusty?
Would you be honest with yourself and from today on, make every day count?
Would do be silly every now and then just because laughing feels so so good?
Would you smile to strangers and get to know someone you’ve always judged for this or that reason? Would you still judge people or simply learn and move along, wishing them well?
Would you change anything if you knew you only have that much time to make a difference? Would you let go of resentment and fear just so you can feel the plumpness of each day hugging you from the moment you open your eyes till after you go to sleep again?
Would you try any of this? Or all and more?