Month: May 2010

OK, I cannot be the only one who has a really bad day here and there. You know what I’m talking about, a day when the ships seem to be sinking one by one and the ones that are not sinking on their own you sail them into shallow muddy waters and …well, you’re stuck. That’s me today. Hmmm… keeping the positive attitude up and running looks like a fool’s errand. My glass is half full, I keep telling g myself when I know deep down in my heart that I am running on empty. Should I lie to myself and play pretend until the storm passes or…?

What do you do when you are having one of those days?

Here is what I humored myself with today while trying to drag my ships from the shallow waters I was stuck in. First of all, about my positive attitude which was missing completely – sure I kept giving myself some good old pep talks but my cup was still empty. Why ? A rather enlightening “a-ha” moment led me to a comforting answer: It had a hole in it. So there. Sometimes we make the holes, sometimes we acquire them along the way. The point is, once I knew it was there I worked at fixing it. And I did. Once I was done, I did a refill – writing and going for a long bike ride – and my positive attitude is back.

Today’s lesson #1: Do not expect anyone to fix your problems. They might not have the right tools and they cannot see what you see. Do it yourself but accept encouragement from those who care. It’ll work out. Before you know it, you’ll be out sailing with some strong wind in your sails.

Today lesson #2: Falling is a painful experience, hence tears are expected, but you won’t stay down forever. Not everything will be fixed in one day but it will be eventually. And you’ll discover more about yourself in the process and reconnect with yourself too. Being/feeling temporarily vulnerable brings you one step closer to becoming stronger.

So I fell, I cried, but now I’m up again and moving on. Isn’t that what we tell our children to do too?
 

How much of ourselves are we supposed to leave behind? How much of what’s left behind by others are we going to carry with us? It’s an energy exchange, if you want, and it is real. I don’t know how much we give and get, and I don’t believe quantifying would serve a purpose here. The energy exchange is what carries us forward. It feeds our need to grow. We attach to people and the places we associate with them. We build memories that will draw us like magic strings towards the people and places we left behind. The memories will become part of us. We become what we are because of all of these encounters.

People, some we stumble upon, some we are drawn towards and some are drawn to us. And the energy exchange transforms our lives. It makes us grow. Some make us struggle in order to grow, others invite us to dance and the growing up happens without any pain. Are these experiences, whether pleasurable or painful, equally enriching? I say yes, they are. Our perception may be different, we may resent the pain but in the end what matters is that we grow as we go. We learn. We learn to be grateful, we learn to smile and forgive. We learn to take the gifts others have for us, and we offer them gifts too. We learn to let go and move on. Each encounter, whether through laughs or tears, shapes us into what we are.

Life is connecting to people and places, past and present. Life is about learning to say “hello” and “good-bye” and learning to enjoy everything that happens in between. Life is a journey of growing up and helping others grow too. Life is beautiful.

I was at the beach today. There were some magnificent clouds, and no, I am not using the adjective lightly here. I did not have my camera with me. So I “photographed” them and saved them in my memory. Pity, I know. I thought about how I won’t see the same clouds again. Similar yes, but not identical. But then having my camera would have made me miss the opportunity to think and write about …well, missed opportunities.

The question is: How do you think about missed opportunities? No, not clouds to photograph, but nail-biting opportunities that happen occasionally. Often or rarely is not the point here. And I am not talking about a once in a lifetime opportunity either, because that alone would be the topic for another blog post.
Just missed opportunities. Do you linger and cry over what could have been? Or find the strength to move on and maybe tell yourself that it was not to be? Do you hope to learn from it? Learning about an opportunity in particular might not seem a wise thing to do after all. There is a very high chance that the next one will be different.

So what are you supposed to learn then? Here is my take on it: I learn about myself. I learn about my beliefs, I learn about what I am ready to sacrifice to achieve what I want to achieve. I use the actual opportunity, whether I missed it or not, as a tool to know about what can take me to the next level in terms of personal growth and whether the steps are worth taking. So yes, I choose to think of a missed opportunity as a chance to grow and learn about myself. In a particular situation and beyond. What do you think?
 

What are you passionate about? What makes your brain buzz and roll thoughts out one after another? Ideally, our jobs should revolve around stuff that we love. Because then it would not feel like working, and by that I do not mean escaping work, because chances are if you love what you’re doing you’ll put even more time and energy into it. Except that your passion will make it feel like you can go on no matter what.

I love writing, I really do. It makes me happy. When I feel like writing because something inspired me, it’s bliss. When I have to write, on the other hand, well, it’s a different story. It gets a bit harder. I may not like the topic much, I may not like the fact that I have to do it then and there, but going to that special place inside where I keep my inspiring thoughts and the answer to that big question “Why I love writing” usually solves the problem. I get over the hurdle and then it’s all downhill from there.

And I love our planet. You can say I’m passionate about it. I love talking about the environment, thinking of ways to inspire people and myself to save this amazing planet. 
I have recently started a project involving kids and the environment, a project that I am very passionate about and I will share more about very soon. lots of thoughts and ideas buzzing, it is by all means an amazing feeling.

What is your passion? What makes your brain buzz and dance with excitement? Find it and share it with people around you. The wave will catch on, you will inspire them to find theirs. Passionate people can change the world. One thought at a time. All it takes is passion, some dreams and yes, believing you can make those dreams happen.
 

My mother passed away suddenly four years ago. Every year in April I put together a special memorial service for my mother and every year I am facing the same problem. Avoidance. That’s right. I think of her daily, but as this very sad anniversary approaches, my thoughts refuse to go forward. I postpone thinking about the memorial, and I postpone planning for it for as long as I can – yes, it’s May already. Why postponing, you ask? Because the memorial, which is something I want to do for my mother, makes the pain of not having her anymore very real. Once again. I go through the same cycle of avoidance, pain and then temporary sad acceptance every year. It doesn’t hurt less as the years go by, in case you’re wondering. More, I’d say. Maybe because everything happened so suddenly and I have yet to come to terms with it. Maybe because I was simply not ready. I can come up with quite a few reasons why. Well, here is the tough reality: it did happen.  And here is another one: ready or not, things happen. Emphasis on ready or not.
We are never ready for what comes. Good or bad, things happen every day. Some we have control over or we gain it as we go, some we don’t. And that’s a fact.

Life happens. Sometimes we end up hurt beyond belief and we get stuck, sometimes we feel inspired and blessed and we fly high, and sometimes, despite the rough sees, we seem to get through with our sails still up. What gives? Why are we sometimes able to get up and walk and other times we fall and get stuck? It’s the way we look at life. I am a feisty one. I have yet to learn to take things as they come. To accept them as they are. I need time and lots of it to accept life.

Time for a change. This year I plan to honour my mother – who was a peaceful optimistic warrior in her own special way – by remembering her courage to go on no matter what. Life happens. I will accept it and make the best of it. Because whether I accept it or not, life happens anyway. And accepting the things I cannot change is the first step towards getting unstuck.