Gratitude makes the journey better and so does kindness

That Amazing Day

IMG_3608It was Sasha’s birthday so we woke him up with an ice cream cake in bed. Eyes barely open you have to blow the candles and make a wish, and make sure the wish won’t plop like a sleepy bird on top of the cake because you are oh, so sleepy. It’s a good tradition, we adopted it recently and plan to hold onto it forever; it’s that good.

As for notable events birthday-related… I remind him every year that he was a blue baby – truly, due to lack of oxygen for a bit. He finds it funny. I told him I had an intense panic episode just until he changed color. It seemed like forever. Afterwards I held him asleep, floppy legs and all, and looked at him, studying every corner of his face, lifting his tiny hands and drawing soft lines on his finger, wondering if I will be all he needs me to be, and at the same time whispering a prayer that my mom, who had passed away just a month before he was born, would see him somehow. It was a heavy time in thoughts, and tears and also the happiest of all, to welcome my second son into the world I still had years to figure out.

His shortly-lived Avatar tint caused by problematic breathing went away a few minutes after he was born though and that was that. Sweetness, awe and love were not conditioned in any way by his color anyway. He has been a joy to us all since.

August 2010 199The things I wished him this year are rather straightforward. I wished to never forget his sense of wonder he wakes up with every morning and runs all barefoot and pajama-clad in the back yard to play in his fort, “live off the land” around the fort (yes, he does, or at least started training) and play with every living critter along the way. I wished him to never stop saying “I need a hug,” wrap his arms around me and whisper warm and thick like another pair of arms “I’ll never let go of you.” I wished him joy, I wished him to stay true to what’s ethical,and worthy, and not harming people but helping them, I wished him to stay kind and loving and always curious. And I wished for myself, like I do every year on their birthdays, I wished to keep that sense of awe that I first got when I knew they will be mine to hold, to love,to cry and laugh and frown at and tumble with; to never lose the feeling of having them wrapped around me like two heart flags, wrapped tight and colorful, their souls sparkling in the sun.

20130606_175314Happy Birthday my sweet boy, dance with the swaying grass and follow its green call all the way to where you want to have your heart embraced. I’ll be there too. We never let go, remember?


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  1. Happy bday to Sasha 🙂

  2. litsa

    Happy Birthday Sasha

    Wow !!!!!! I would love to be wished all those things for my birthday. Nothing that we put in a box could possibly be better than those kind wishes. Sasha is a very lucky boy!

    • Thank you Litsa :-). I thought you’d agree that wind-swayed grass is better than any boxed thing… I’d add rain to that too, with all its smells and stories and promise of sunshine to come. That’s for you, my friend.

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