Daniela Ginta, Freelance Writer

Gratitude makes the journey better. Kindness, too.

Author: Daniela Ginta Page 36 of 99

My path is a winding one. I write, I raise my sons, I love and I live.
Waking up to a new adventure every day. I have all that I need at every moment.

Because Birds Happen

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On June 14, 2016

In Homeschooling, Kamloops, Learning, Life Stories, Motherhood

I never had a bird land on my shoulder. Until today that is, during the morning walk with the dog and while stopping for a chat with an elderly gentleman we often see around the neighbourhood.

Of all people, the bird singled me out, even though I had a puppy connected to me. Go figure. Brave little soul you could say. Clingy too, since it would not respond to the usual ‘shoo’ that all birds find unappealing and scary enough to take off.

Nope, not this one.

It hopped on my hand and at that moment I suggested the open spaces around us. Again, most birds would go, right? Not this one.

So I gave it a gentle shake and said go. The bird claimed deafness. What next? For the record, I have always been an animal lover and collector at times. Many a fallen baby bird went through the streamlined rehabilitation program I had running as a kid. Stray cats and dogs too. Even a hedgehog, though that one thought he could do better without. We parted with no hard feelings as my hands were full at that time with other critters.

My parents were patient, yes, and mighty understanding of their daughter’s propensity to bring home animals of all kinds. That was then. Now I thought things were pretty clear: we own a beta fish, red and lively, and a puppy, also lively but not red, and my quota is full. My days are filled to the brim with boys learning at home, puppy love and care, writing, gardening and all the other things that happen during a day that allows you but short breaks to sigh and be grateful. Because I am, really.

20160614_084943I do not need a bird though. The where and how have to be figured out and though thjis qualifies as a homeschooling experience alright, I cannot show up for meetings, on Skype or otherwise, with a bird on my shoulder. I am no pirate, though the shoulder-loving bird thinks otherwise.

Sasha’s teacher kindly identified it as a starling. They are an invasive species; very smart and able to learn to talk. Right. Who would not want a talk-back bird when they have two kids already doing that at times and a dog too (barking back)? Well… me, that’s who.

So to review: bird lands on shoulder during morning walk, does not want to rejoin its wild world but sticks with the newly found parental figure, comes home and promptly tries its wings in the kitchen landing on heads, shoulders, and everything else that is not a wall.

Puppy becomes extremely well-behaved sensing that a new baby may be taking the much-coveted place in my heart. Console puppy, reassure puppy, secretly and totally enjoying the sudden sweet demeanour. Acquaint dog with bird and realize that friendship may be possible after all. Emphasis on ‘may’.

Where are we now bird-wise: the high density of crows in the back yard plus the occasional cat prevent us from releasing Star (little boy’s suggestion) out for now, so we are using Poppy’s crate as bird safe space until we return from Forest School. We hop on bus, follow a trail to Peterson Creek Park where school takes place today. I binge on Saskatoon berries, my comfort food.

Today’s task (on top of the many others): figure out the animal shelter situation.

For now I am hiding in a coffee shop, working on a couple of articles and pretending that I am just an ordinary human with nothing extraordinary to report… except for the bird landing on my shoulder, the dog begging me to reconsider bird adoption, and the boys shielding their breakfast from Star, the new addition who might or might not leave us. I know, most birds would. Not this one though.

It’s Good To Be Known, But For What?

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On May 27, 2016

In Armchair Mayor Column, Climate change, Environment, Kamloops, Self-improvement, Social issues

I remember the days when people would say that Canadians traveling abroad are perhaps among the only ones that can stitch a flag to their backpacks and be welcome wherever they’d go because of that. Canadians are nice and considerate, people would say. They were then and many, let’s hope the majority, still are.

Yet the image is being challenged by a group of adventurous yet inconsiderate young Canadians who have put themselves on the shame map by disrespecting a few of the iconic American landmarks such as the Yellowstone Park. A selfie here, a selfie there, they managed to step in those places that clearly said ‘do not’. There must have been a ‘please’ in there too, but the rush to get reactions to boldness was too much. So un-Canadian.

There will be some charges, and they will likely be forbidden to visit the US any time soon. That’s not it though. It’s the notoriety such incidents create, chipping away at the image that was built over the years. Not a bad one, you’d agree. It’s good to be known for being respectful.

Then it’s the green matter. Or lack thereof. It’s not good to be known for being the home of one of the worst polluters in North America. It is the oilsands, of course. They are the source of an incredibly high amount of secondary organic aerosols which increase the concentration of particulate matter, a recent Canadian study concluded, which can make the air people and animals breathe a lot more toxic than it should be. Carcinogenic too, according to the World Health Organization.

Another one in a different journal that was published two years ago brought attention to the much higher air pollutant concentration than previously thought forming out of the oilsands. When people’s health is at stake… well, never mind, that has been not been the case in communities closely positioned to either oil, gas or mining explorations. People were left to their own devices which are often limited.

Yes, Canada used to be known as ‘green’. That has been changing over the years though. If the previous government had us pull out of international climate change commitments and agree to ridiculously low targets, the present one has yet to show its shades of green by honouring the promises made during the flamboyant campaign.

Canada’s future as a green country is not farfetched. We have what we need, resource-wise. It may take a while to switch to renewable energies and the provincial and federal governments would have to commit financially to make it happen, but really, what other choice we have when industrial giants like China are pledging to switch to alternative sources of energy and have 5 million electric cars on the road in the near future. There is no turning back.

There is a magic word called subsidy. When the government decides to put more into what matters because our very future depends on it, good things happen. We ought to be known for that instead of scientifically-flawed processes that see pipelines approved and projects like the Site C dam being praised as good investments. We ought to have people know the difference between profitable for a few, versus sustainable in all aspects, hence good for entire communities and the country too.

Yes, Canadians are good people. The recent Fort McMurray fire (still raging by the way, though it is somewhat out of the hot news, no pun intended) brought forth the kind of stories that reinforce the belief that Canadians are brave, kind-hearted and considerate. There was a lot of heart being poured in getting people evacuated safely and saving as many of their houses from fire as possible. Many others donated generously to those left without homes and belongings.

Then, the ugly stuff emerged. People posing as Fort Mac fire refugees tried to scam generous people, others having just escaped the fire with a few possessions, mostly of sentimental value, ended up being robbed on the way to safer grounds.

You could say some bad apples look for opportunities to make a few dirty dollars and such people exist everywhere. Yet in times of grief, the opposite should kick in. If it’s poverty that pushes people to stealing, that is unfortunate. Poverty can be an ugly contender to honesty.

The few that made the news stealing and impersonating are small potatoes though. The recent revelations that over 300 addresses and names in the infamous Panama Papers were traced to Vancouver stings a lot more. Stealing is not all poverty-related after all. Shame.

There’s always good and bad coming together and even the skeptics would agree that you can’t have it all good and rosy. That’s not the goal either. How about aiming to return to being known as kind, considerate, even if too apologetic at times? To return to being known as environmental stewards who care for their land and base their decisions not on how they affect the present generation but how they will be helping future generations exist and flourish.

To be known not for having the most handsome Prime Minister in the world, or for the now out-of-proportion PM elbow incident, but for how boldly he insists on keeping his promises, because he is the face of all Canadians and their hope to make the country stand out for the good things that happen here.

It’s about returning to being able to walk around with the flag stitched to our backpacks and our heads held high. It’s been like that for an awfully long time, why not keep it that way?

Our Yard Lives With Us

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On May 27, 2016

In Homeschooling, Kamloops, Learning, Life Stories, Motherhood

Sunny

Time is a game played beautifully by children (Heraclitus)

There are a few things that can be said about our yard. An English garden it is not. Prim and proper either. What would we do with all of that? Could an English garden accommodate a –build-your-own castle? A clay mining operation (which is needed for the castle of course) or a jousting arena? I doubt it.

thenGranted, the castle in the back yard is in ruins. There were two at some point but they morphed into one. Why two, you may ask. Well, because two (little) people at some point in time thought to lay siege on each other’s castle by catapulting stones. When you’re a boy in love with the knight times, it makes all the sense the in the world.

Then, there’s jousting. It takes place in the vicinity of the castle, and it is done with much gusto on a bike instead of a horse and against a tin garbage can donned with a shield and a waiting lance. Noblesse oblige. The laundry line gets in the way but then again, no knight can become a proper one without a few good challenges. Such as clothes lines and mom’s raised beds.

noseYumsSpeaking of raised beds and gardening. There’s remnants of both, despite dogs and knights. How many gardeners can brag about finding knight-in-training hand prints among emerging bean plants? Or a puppy with a tell-tale dirty nose? Honestly, I think the beans are going to lose. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The tour continues with the clay mine site. It has a ramp leading into the ‘processing area’ and back in its heyday the mine cart was bustling up and down the small hill with an enviable clickety-clack.  Alas, the cart is now a relic of the old flourishing days of backyard mining. Strangely similar to some area of British Columbia if you think about it.

That homeschooling allows for unrestricted exploration of preferred subjects such as British Columbia history in particular may have had something to do with the boys’ mining forays too. The gold in our case was muck though. Lots of it.

If it means boys playing for hours though, knee deep in both muck and joy and laughing all the way to the sky and back, so be it. As for life beyond muck, there is lots of it. There are shelters being built, expeditions being carried to corners of the world (umm, yard) you’ve never heard of and on sunny crisp morning there are reading snuggles. Ants crawl on our feet, ticklish and curious, and we do not mind because they have just as much right to be there as we do. Possibly more.

In the front yard, the big tree (a silver maple we suppose) fulfills its many duties with utmost dignity. It holds a swing that has taught the boys more about gravity than any manual could, it invites to climbing and bird viewing, and it reminds us of the seasons. Gratefulness and time measured in leaves falling to the ground in the fall and buds bursting in the spring. An ideal time keeper.

20160519_082652Peter PanAs for the garden… It may or may not make it this year. Much of it this has retreated to large pots because of the waves of enthusiasm and creativity sweeping through the yard at any given time. I am not about to stop any of it though. You see, all of this happens but once in a lifetime and if I let it live as it might, the boys will stay just as they are for a while. Just boys, silly and covered in muck, never mind the foot prints on the kitchen floor. Backyard (and beyond) adventures await and if enough adventures happen then there is no need to ever say ‘Mom, can I stay a kid forever?…’ Because they will.

Health And Education Should Come First

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On May 17, 2016

In Armchair Mayor Column, Climate change, Environment, Homeschooling, Kamloops, Learning, Life Stories, Motherhood, Social issues

Originally published as a column in NewsKamloops.

PupI could delight you this time with some stories about our three-month-old puppy. Her deeds are cute, funny and downright naughty at times but cuteness comes with built-in ‘forgive me’ features and that’s that. Should she happen to need veterinary care because, say, she swallowed some sharp pebbles (true, she did), I have no trouble finding help in one of the clinics here in Kamloops.

That is reassuring. It’s good to get help when you need it and reassuring to know that you are not on your own with an issue that gives a few extra heart beats.

When it comes to my children, well, that’s a different problem. Over the last couple of weeks my youngest has been struggling with asthma on and off. As long as the puffer works, he gets some breathing help at night and I get some peace of mind. But puffers can only last that much and then you need a new prescription.

Unlike the urgent help I can get with our puppy, finding a spot in one of the local walk-in clinics for my son is a different matter. There are line-ups, there are lists, there is luck (or not) and there is the fear that, should he need additional tests done, there will a long waiting time before we can get in and get an answer. When one’s breathing is laboured, that is the farthest thing from reassuring.

This last week the news that the BC Children’s Hospital had to cancel some surgeries (non-emergency ones) because of a shortage of nurses was not only sad but infuriating. Though positive thinking tips include the one that says you should not ask ‘what if’, in this case I have to admit that the dreaded question crossed my mind.

What if? What if my children were among the non-urgent cases whose surgeries would be postponed because of a shortage of nurses? This kind of question becomes severely uncomfortable when it affects one directly. And it does, many people.

It does not cease to amaze me that our province lags when it comes to health, education and general child care issues. There are nurses I talked to who said they are overworked, many work on contract which means they have no benefits and support staff is scarce to make proper medical care a joke at times and their job a lot harder.

At the same time, many schools are closing throughout the province and in Vancouver too, where you’d think the rivers of money brought by real estate and foreign investors could positively impact the school situation.

That sometimes they are the only schools in an area (the case of the highschool in Osoyoos) makes it all the more shocking. Many teachers are being given the slip, many support staff too, so for parents whose life was a struggle at times because their children needed special assistance, life is becoming even more challenging.

Same goes for children struggling with chronic health issues. The families who appeal to the government for help are being told that there are no available funds for their case. To add to an already flammable list… we have the highest rate of child poverty in Canada, and there are communities where environmental pollution affects people’s health (as always, children are most susceptible), not that the latter is in any way a concern of the present provincial government.

Reading a well put together book on virtues with my youngest, we came across issues such honesty, kindness, compassion, and the discussions that ensued are nothing short of wonderful. We all want our children to learn to be honest, kind and compassionate. The world seems better that way. When someone goes the extra mile out of sheer kindness, it gives me hope.

When someone in a leading position makes the choice to remember that many people hope with all their might that vital issues like health, education, minimum wages and affordable daycare or support for people in poverty-ridden communities, are not overlooked but dealt with respectfully, that makes a world of difference. As it should.

Life is so far from perfect at times so our only hope is to stick together, to stand up for what’s right and to remember that though we may be out of harm’s way, some people aren’t, and their needs have to be solved. That a society where health and education are well taken care of sees many of its other issues solved too. It’s a story that could have a happy ending, but all characters, and primarily the ones in leading roles, need to show some good moral and intellectual virtues. Like honesty, kindness, compassion, courage and wisdom. That would do. Truly.

Holding On, Dawdling And Markers To Find Our Way

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On May 17, 2016

In Homeschooling, Learning, Life Stories, Motherhood, Self-improvement

20160517_124336I have a fresh cup of coffee and the ‘to do’ list I left on my desk last night clearly states that I should attend to my article on stroke and depression. I dawdle instead.

The word stroke makes me think of my Dad. He did not become depressed after his stroke but angry; I did too. That he lost his ability to do things around the yard, that he was slow and feeling older because of that, that he lost his smile because his body gave up on feeling invincible before his mind did. His anger melted in depressed helplessness over time, mine in tears of the same. Clinging to the shiny bits is how I can honour him and our time together.

Today I dawdle on writing about strokes because the morning walk reminded me of life before grownup shadows poured from the sky. The time when I was little and stepping out of the house into fresh, wet morning grass and my Dad would hand me a handful of half-ripen strawberries and smiles.

So I close my eyes and dawdle, lingering in the space where I can go no more, the place where I’d lie on my back in the tall soft grasses under the quince trees and make shapes with my hands against the sun, hiding my eyes behind leaves and feeling the slight tickles of ants crawling on my arms. The place of innocence and small daily miracles.

I miss that not in the whiny way that makes me unfit for today and tomorrow and life itself, but in the way that makes me ponder once again over the memories and precious bits of life I will hand my boys today so they’ll learn from and anchor themselves when life makes them feel unsteady.

It’s not about keeping them safe from harm. I have, since entering adulthood (I suspect that is what the land I find myself most days is called,) given up on the idea of creating a worry-free environment for my sons.

Life will use its sharpest sticks to poke you at times and it has nothing to do with your mom’s magic powers aimed to protect you. In fact, there is no such thing. There is the strength that we acquire by soul osmosis if you will. There are memories of sweetness, there is resilience, there is the remembrance of mistakes, loudness when loud does not solve anything anyway, mistakes corrected and tears wiped, the adorning with hugs when reconciliation drapes wraps us all in its long soft arms, and the resolution that tomorrow will be better.

20160508_111854That is what I can give to my boys. Time together is how I craft it for them, with them, and there is no guarantees either but faith, blind faith that the tree we nurture together will grow to have strong roots and a crown large enough to provide shade when needed – for them, for those they love, for those who need it when they need it. Faith that their hearts will never harden to refuse shade to those who ask for it.

I give them time, love through presence, the only things I have full ownership of. Mornings of snuggles and reading about boxtrolls with little boy, chuckles that come about as we read about creatures that don’t exist but how cute if they did. I listen to whispers of worry about things that little boys worry about, I am fortunate to be let in. Little boys wanting nothing more but to stay hidden in the land of playing knight games with wooden shields and swords and so much imagination it bursts out in stories that carry no punctuation but joy, lots of it.

20160508_105829I give big brother a quarter cup of coffee or so and the steam draws out laughter, stories, gazes averted but souls pushing closer to each other as uneasy topics nestle their elbows in between the two of us; we squeeze them a bit just to show they have nothing on us. Playing invincible? I used to. Now I play fair: sometimes life is overwhelming. My growing boy needs to know that, as he’s leaving childhood behind to enter the world that makes no sense at times but fills us with the kind of longing that keeps up going for seconds every day and every day after that.

20160508_124822For Mother’s Day just a week or so ago I got hugs, smiles and a wasp nest found in some sun-drenched woods. Cards made by them, adding to a pile that will one day become a framed expose of love bits. Cannot think of better gifts. Worthiness.

In the end, that’s what it’s about. Leaving traces that define us. I leave mine, they leave theirs. We make a mound of them and create the marker that will help us find our way back to the time when sweetness abounded and we held hands as we jumped over streams inflamed with rushing waters. So that neither of us will be swept away. Holding on is what I can give them. For now, that will do.

A Mom’s Perspective

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On April 29, 2016

In Armchair Mayor Column, Homeschooling, Kamloops, Learning, Life Stories, Motherhood, Self-improvement, Social issues

Originally published as a column in NewsKamloops on Friday April 29, 2016. 

ThemEvery few months or so, or at least a couple of times a year, there is some news about a mom breastfeeding in public and the implications of that. A case of a storm in a glass of water if you ask me. Somehow, we’re just not over this issue though it has been happening since the beginning of human history.

Yes, many of us are still collectively losing it as soon as a mom nurses her baby in public (yes, babies do eat at various times and in various places not just at home or in secretive locations.)

The negative opinions of the crowd range from shaming the mom and her propensity to expose herself (as if!) to whether she should still be nursing a child that is not a newborn anymore. To be fair, there are positive, encouraging remarks that show support and affirm that yes, it is absolutely normal for a young one to be nursed.

The latest nursing offense happened in Ontario. Though in a community centre, the mom was asked to go to the washroom to continue. Right. That she refused to do so only seems logical and self-respecting. No mom does the exposure to the point it becomes an issue and most times all you see is the baby’s head anyway. Covering up works for some babies but not for others so in imposing the cover-up we might just see more of what we’re trying to avoid seeing.

That she was asked to do that only proves that we are a few ages behind in acknowledging a fact of life (literally) that is not only healthy but fully supported and encouraged by various health organizations and yes, the recommendations clearly state nursing exclusively for the first six months of life and along with complimentary foods until the age of two and beyond.

It truly is mind-boggling that so many get their tails in a knot over this one again and again, while the exposure issue is a serious and worrying one in other areas of life that we should be more diligent to look into as a society or even become fully aware of.

It’s highly hypocritical to do the nursing mom hunt while the really troubling stuff exists in the shadows and grows continuously. The dark sides of internet information is where the true exposure to more than breasts happen, yet there is full freedom for kids, teens and the rest of the population to access it as they please and/or are sneaking their way towards it.

We have yet to make it a common place conversation among all of us, whether we are parents or not. As a society we are barking at the wrong tree when approaching the nursing mom situation with such apprehension while not seeing the dark forest behind it.

If we are to regulate things that can and do affect us as a society we have to look at how we’re being robbed of decency and innocence, start a conversation and initiate actions that will see us all better for it.

To be clear, I am an advocate of open conversations with children, explaining things to them according to their level of understanding and curiosity. Moreover, I am an advocate of spending enough time around the dinner table and otherwise, so that such conversations are not awkward and thus avoided, but happening matter-of-factly and thus allowing for the connection between us parents and children to grow deeper every time.

Yes, we need to do something and soon. Highly overdue I’d say when we have yet another 80 people in Ontario – one of whom was a daycare employee – charged with child pornography (charges include 274 offences) and when phone applications like Canadian-made Kik open the door to even more predators. No, I am not blaming the app but its features sure need some fixing so that the ill-intended cannot be given access.

We have much to worry about and baby nursing prudishness is not one of them. We have to worry about people whose faces and identities are concealed going after children (yes, teens are still children), we have to worry about how easily children can nowadays access online pornography and how overspread the rape culture is among young people, and we have to worry about how much even best-intentioned parents miss when it comes to knowing about their children’s online presence simply because there is just so much to handle.

So yes, let’s let the nursing moms nurse and instead approach the issues that can truly hurt us and our children. This is yet another elephant in the room, and we have to deal with it. Starting now would not be too soon.

Musings From the Ethical Side of Life

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On April 20, 2016

In Armchair Mayor Column, Climate change, Environment, Learning, Social issues

Originally published as a column in NewsKamloops on Friday April 15, 2016. 

There is so much controversial political stuff (ethics pending) happening these days that it becomes hard to know which one to focus on first.

At the same time, the hills around Kamloops are dressing up in their charming albeit short-lived emerald green shimmery coats and that is a daily gift we are greeted by every day. A good reminder of a world worth fighting for.

Which brings me to the first issue that is as hot as the days to come and equally scary (29 degrees predicted for the beginning of next week.) The Trans-Pacific Partnership trade deal or TPP as we’ve all come to know it. Our premier is once again creating a stir (at least we know of it) with her unflinching desire to see the deal ratified. As if British Columbia and its citizens would benefit so much from it that it would be unethical to not do so. Instead, the opposite is true.

The pink shaded dreams that our premier is selling as she is pressing the federal government to ratify the deal include for example the creation of jobs, a promise that has its pink halo disputed by political analysts who have no corporate interests but are simply looking at the trade deal objectively, and saying Canada needs to return to the table and correct a few things.

Should the deal be ratified, we can see the efforts to address climate change and protect the environment being at the mercy of corporations, which, if history is any lesson, is anything but a good thing.

We can see public health and access to medicine threatened by patents involving big dollars and thus well-guarded by companies that can put a price on human life. Not a good thing at all.

A scary possible reality that concerns British Columbians may involve the multinational corporations gaining control over our natural resources. In short, there could be dispute settlement clauses that could see the province sued if provincial regulations obstruct corporate gain in any way. Enough to make most of us choke, right?

So one could logically wonder about the ethics of all of this. If the provincial government care about the citizens, the land and the future generations, shouldn’t there be a way to actually show it instead of displaying the opposite and with pride.

The LNG projects so garnished with inflated hopes and environmentally devastating are proof of it. Site C too. Much to be destroyed, little to be gained overall, and so, so much to be left to be desired in the realm of ethics. That ethics and leadership should go hand in hand is an understatement. As I said so many times, that should be the premise on which leaders are elected. That and true concern for people and land. Right.

If the provincial government gets a failing grade when it comes to securing an actual good deal for British Columbia, we can hope that the recently elected federal government will see to it. As per the promises during the election campaign, which our collective elephant memory still hangs onto.

Yet when it comes to ethics, it seems that our federal government has a black eye too. Care to guess? The $11 billion Saudi LAV deal. If human rights are not negotiable (they aren’t) then why do they become less important and easy to overlook when big money comes about?

Is it the money? Is it the big shadow that Saudi Arabia casts over some of the western world due to their oil (are we still there?), which makes our officials conveniently overlook all the human rights violations they perpetrate? Double standards are always a bad idea.

It’s the jobs, some would say. Weapons are not made for show and tell, we know that much, yet a country with a reputation like Saudi Arabia… it’s just not looking right for the well-behaved Canadians.

Still in the ethics department, a big one might be coming down the pipe (emphasis on might) should the Canada Revenue Agency answer the most uncomfortable question of why their secret deal with KPMG allowed the latter’s rich customers to avoid paying tax without fearing any future charges. Unethical and too unfair, more so when the Panama Papers delivered their own social injustice blow.

We can only hope that justice will be served. We can only hope that the values most of us talk about such as integrity, honesty, consideration for others and the land that feeds us all, will be the values that our government, federal and provincial, will bring forth when deciding our present and future. If ethics would matter the way it should, we’d have nothing to fear. And yet…

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