Daniela Ginta, Freelance Writer

Gratitude makes the journey better. Kindness, too.

Category: Self-improvement

The Way We Love, Why We Need To

By

On August 21, 2013

In Self-improvement

It like that...It’s not how we think of love that makes love grow in our hearts, but how we come into it and how we become who we are by being in it. We learn to love by being loved.

It’s how we search for it even when we are not aware of doing so, because it is through love that we find ourselves. Love and acceptance give the courage to see our true selves and spark the desire to better ourselves.

We don’t choose how to love, we follow its course. We don’t choose the location of the dents love will make in our hearts. Some people we attach ourselves to because of the bond that’s woven for us through birth. Some people we cross paths with as we sail through life and come to love. There’s sharp turns and there’s mountains and valleys. If you can carry love through it all, it is meant to be.

To love is an act of courage. You give yourself and thus make room in your heart for those who give themselves to you.

There are no instructions on how to. It is a personal journey. The way you love your parents, your children, the love you share with siblings or the love for your partner; it’s yours to discover, decipher, struggle with if you have to and work at it as if your life depends on it. Because it does.

A few days ago I was telling my ailing dad about my impending trip back home after spending a longer time with him. He smiled at first, calmly acknowledging. Half hour later he called and asked about the trip. His hand wanted to hold mine. Words did not come easy anymore.

It was not the trip plans that made his hand grab onto mine and his eyes tear up. No bridges of emotional restraints were able to hold against the simple, deep affirmation of love.

He wanted me to knowt how much he loves me, and I did the same. Pain and heavy thoughts tore at my heart, but were replaced later by gratefulness. To cry is a liberation. To cry together becomes a blessing.

It is good that I did, I may not have another chance.

To have...It’s not much different with the other people in my life. My sons grow and extend their wings into whatever tomorrow we build together. The wind that will carry them at least over a few mountains as they do so is the love that I have for them. I need to build it strong.

Not for them to guess or wish they can be sure of. They need to be gifted the love they never have to think of asking. Love they can be sure of.

The love for people who touch my life and my soul is as deep as can be. No buts, no ifs, no holding back.

Our time here is borrowed, we need to grow wise to use it fully. To make it meaningful for ourselves and those around us through the love we share. Starting with ourselves.

Two. If life, no evil intentions whatsoever, has you limp in the love you have for yourself, well, it’s rather painful to step on that path that carries you through some murky waters you happen upon. But if you’re lucky, someone might come along and carry you until you heal and learn to love and trust.  And you will. I do. Be grateful. I am.

To love is to fulfill a need. To grow, to help grow, to become human. To love where we come from, to see as far as we can see, to hug as tight as we can and to hold onto the hearts of those we love with ours.

 

 

 

 

Thoughts For The Road…

By

On July 21, 2013

In Self-improvement

The road

To Laura and Nemo, thought munchies for the road ahead…

If you were my kid and leaving today to see and feel and taste the world, this is what I’d tell you:

 

 

 

  1. That you’re never alone. Repeat as often as you need to so you will believe it. It’s true.
  2. That you can always smile. Smiling makes your eyes arch in a way that drains tears. I’ve tried it enough times to know.
  3. That every day, even the ones that seem long and punishing, have 24h, no more no less. Tomorrow is always around the corner. You get to try again.
  4. That you have choices. Always. And you need to be honest with yourself to admit it.
  5. That you can find the horizon from wherever you are.
  6. That you need to believe in yourself. If you want it, you can make it happen.
  7. That you should not spend what you don’t have.
  8. That you learn to listen. Few do. It’s an important life skill.
  9. That when you are joyful, so are those around you.
  10. That you have to own your words and actions. Don’t ever make yourself run away from your own heart. Self-betrayal is a heavy load to carry no matter where you go.
  11. That even when you’re lost, you are somewhere. Therefore, you are never lost.
  12. That when you smile, people smile back.
  13. That idleness is a sin.
  14. Travel light. You already have what you need with you.
  15. That you should not call it a good day until you learned something, or until you brighten someone’s day. Often times that someone is you.
  16. Sometimes all it takes is to ask. So ask. The worst that can happen is to be told no. No is a word. A short one though.
  17. That you should never stop dreaming.
  18. That gratefulness is the road to joy.
  19. That everything seems brighter in the morning. So sleep on it, you will find a solution.
  20. That your mind can make a big problem bigger. Use your mind’s ability to your advantage. Everyone needs a confidence boost every now and then.
  21. That it is better to regret the things you did rather than the ones you never had the courage to do.
  22. That you should not let anyone tell you cannot follow your dreams.
  23. That no one is responsible for your happiness but you.
  24. You cannot force someone to love you, nor can you ask or whine for it. Love is a gift. It should be given.
  25. Don’t be afraid to love and when you do, give it all you’ve got. Might as well. Holding back might lead to “could’ve” and “should’ve.” They are like silent forgotten mines. People’s hearts become minefields and that can lead to hurting.
  26. Being afraid can keep you safe or make you miss out on life. It takes time to learn when and how to do it wise, so learn.
  27. That there is always a way out. With a catch: You need to find it.
  28. That you can learn something from everything that happens to you. It is said that smooth seas never made good sailors.
  29. That when you give you will be given.
  30. That life is fluid. Only make promises you can keep. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
  31. That hugs are needed for growth; Soul growth that is. Hug for real, halfway will never do.
  32. That you need to believe in something. The more solid that something, the stronger the rope that ties you to it when you need it most.
  33. That you can only know how you yourself feel, but never how others feel. So express feelings starting with an I. You will find that it makes people listen more carefully.
  34. Those who care will never hurt you on purpose. Have the courage to see the others.
  35. People may not be aware that you hurt. Speak up. But… yelling never makes people understand you better.
  36. Own your past. You are here today and you are you because of what’s behind you.
  37. That pain cannot be avoided sometimes. But like everything else, pain also passes.
  38. Laugh often and heartily. More begets more.
  39. Few things are as bad (or worse) than they look. Most are better.
  40. Truth is peace. Peace of mind that is.
  41. Never settle for broken dreams. They are not called dreams anymore but shards. They will cut your feet and others’.
  42. Sing if you want to, dance, paint or ride your bike. Never be afraid to feed your soul. Feeding your soul is never ridiculous or wrong. A well-fed soul is a happy soul.
  43. Everyone loves to do something. Find yours and make it your job.
  44. If you have the choice, choose a job where you don’t have to count the minutes. Those minutes always seem longer. Emptier too.
  45. Farewells are a part of life. If you’re afraid of leaving you will never get anywhere. Farewell tears help grow appreciation for who you leave behind.
  46. If you care, show it. Guessing games are a gamble.
  47. Speak up. Make sure you are being heard.
  48. Assumptions can take you awfully close to the edge. Use sparingly.
  49. Learn the sound of your soul. Sometimes it’ll be only whispers. Go somewhere quiet to hear it well. It’s the truest voice you have.
  50. Life happens. Embrace it.

You Have Choices. Always. Unless…

By

On July 12, 2013

In Self-improvement

The paintbrush ...Unless you are somebody’s slave – slavery has yet to be abolished, unfortunately – you are where you are now because of the choices you made yesterday and continue to make today.

You have choices. Always.

The day turns to night and you have no choice to make daylight longer or brighter, nor do you have the option to stop the rain or bring one around if it gets too dry. But you have the choice to wake up and make every minute count.

You have the choice to make the best use of daylight to see people’s faces, to do the next thing you have to do; to build, to read, to write, to move on. You can choose. Unless your spirit and or body are confined by someone or something, you have choices.

You meet people; some will add sunshine and joy to your life, others will suck yours out. You have choices. It is an honest thing to exercise your choices, respectful too, towards yourself and others. You can choose to love, forgive, hug, or let go. You have choices: To be at peace or not.

You can smile or frown, believe in yourself or choose defeat, you can pity yourself or tell yourself you can do whatever you put your mind and heart to.

With everything you do, with the choices you make, you make a statement about yourself and life, every day. Whether you choose to exercise your right to make choices, you are still making choices, but are they the right ones?

You have the choice to make every day count. If I would ask you to give up the last 3650 days of your life, would you do that? That’s ten years. If you wouldn’t, then why would you give away a day like today?

You have the choice to make today count. You have choices. Always. Unless… You choose not to. Also a choice. Yours.

You paint tomorrow using the colors you choose today…

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