Month: April 2010 Page 1 of 2

No more cable. That’s right. In all fairness, it wasn’t a hard decision. Aside from checking the weather channel occasionally and maybe watching a hockey game here and there, the TV remote did not get out much. There was a time when my evening routine included a Seinfeld episode or two, but that’s history too. These days I find it immensely entertaining to watch TED talks and of course, write and read. Our minds deserve better. They do.

Television may provide entertainment but I crave the high that comes from being exposed to something that challenges or inspires me. I love the train of thoughts that these activities create in my brain, like contrails on a summer sky. Time is a precious commodity. Don’t let it go to waste. An entire world opens up when you turn off the TV. But you know that already. It’s just that… well, it’s hard to give it up.

Here’s my dare for you: pretend your cable is not working for a week or so and see what happens. Better yet, pretend your cable is not working anymore and see.
 

“Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” Albert Camus 1913-1960

I love meeting new people. Not everyone new I meet will become my best friend. Far from it. Some people come and go, some will become acquaintances. And then some become friends. Some become really good friends. The difference? The energy exchange. At least that’s how I choose to look at it.
I let these people come into my life. And they do the same. Not out of courtesy but because it feels right. There is a spark. I don’t feel apprehensive about sharing ideas and thoughts. It feels right. And they share some of their thoughts with me. And it feels right still.
I become richer with every special person who enters my life. And I know that somehow I can make their lives richer too. There is no fear in sharing ideas. Crazy impossible ideas too. Your friends will point out the craziness; they will let you know if you make mistakes. Just like you will let them know too. Because they care. And because you care. And that’s what friendship is all about.
Don’t be afraid to let people into your life if it feels right. Trust your gut feeling. Yes, that feeling coming from deep inside which you will come to master. The more you rely on it the more confident you feel about trusting it. And if you don’t get it right, that’s alright. That’s when I usually tell myself “I should’ve listened to that nagging too…”. Learning as I go. Just like you’ll learn too. And it’s all worth it.

That’s part of a line from a movie I most likely won’t ever get to watch entirely but I am still glad I stumbled upon this great line. It kind of went like this “Life should be a little nuts. Otherwise it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together.” (Kevin Costner in Rumor Has It)
After a night of tossing in bed thinking that I am not doing the right thing by working on so many projects at a time – all time-consuming but all great too – and after spending my morning drowned in anxiety and fretting, my mood changed a bit following helpful advice from a friend. Later on, I honoured my evening routine and went for a long run in the rain. Loved it! Once again, running cleared my head and helped me think straight. Exercise induces positive thinking, it does for me anyway. I thought of pros and cons for each of these little enterprises I am engaging myself in and decided to keep going. Some of them are a little nuts, but that’s OK. And yes, I am aware that I will feel scared again, but that is part of the journey. And while we cannot shape our lives based on lines from a movie, no matter how glamorous, it is very true that inspiration sometimes comes from the least expected place or circumstance.
I don’t want my life to be a bunch of Thursdays, I don’t. I want to feel life, not just look at it as it passes by. I want to taste life and enjoy whatever surprises it has in store for me. I believe that indeed, life should be a little nuts. So sign me up for adventure. I know it will come with ups and downs and I also know that the ups will be adrenaline-loaded and spectacular and the downs will drive me to desperation, but I am planning to enjoy the ride and so should you. I am not ready to settle for just a bunch of Thursdays. There is a whole week between two Thursdays, don’t skip it. Each day is a present. And inside each present, an adventure awaits. Are you ready? 
 

Feet first. Nothing better than the feeling of fresh grass under your feet on a crisp spring morning. Or evening. Rain or shine, that is. I love walking barefoot, feeling the earth under my feet is an intimate act. Connecting in the best possible way. And there is no better way to understand why it is so crucial that we keep this planet clean and beautiful. If your feet are touching the grass and feeling it so closely, would you feel comfortable knowing that you are actually touching pesticides and fertilizers? Would you still walk around barefoot if you knew that the grass that is so close to your body contains harmful chemicals? Exactly. Do your part, don’t use chemicals on your lawn, buy clean food that comes from clean fields and help spread the word. If you indulge in golfing, opt for an environmentally-friendly golf course. Initiate a movement to create one where you live. Because you do want clean air and water and soil for that grass you are now so comfortable walking in, don’t you?
Your thoughts. Bare your mind of all the extra stuff that you accumulate during the day. Find a moment to be with yourself, to ponder over the things that happened during the day, leave out the ones you have no use for and let the good ones help you grow a little. Enjoy the humming your own thoughts, separate them from all the background noise that sometimes becomes overwhelming. There is an entire world inside of you waiting to be discovered if you just dare to let those negative thoughts go.
Your space. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. Declutter the place you live in, and the place you work in, bare it of all the extra objects that do not represent anything anymore. Ideally, you should be able to dance around your house and not collapse over a mountain of clutter. I am not saying you have to dance, but should the occasion present itself, make sure you have a bare enough space that will allow you to do so. Feel the energy flowing freely. Your energy. Creativity is just one step away.

Try one or all three. I dare you!
 

Are you one of those people who want to change something in order to become a better person and live a more fulfilled life, and while waiting that big change to happen, you realize that life is passing by and you are still lost and somewhat confused? I find myself in that position occasionally. Which is why I decided to take baby steps towards changing my life, as opposed to hoping for the opportunity to take that big jaw-dropping leap. Which might or might not happen. Don’t get me wrong, I am an optimist. Yet in this case it will be the teeny tiny steps, at least in the beginning, that will allow me to see changes, however small they are, but see them nonetheless and build my confidence as I go. I will call this my “One A Day” program. And it goes like this: every day I will end my day by pondering over how the day went and making one change to make tomorrow better. And most importantly, STICK WITH IT no matter what. Which is why the pondering part is rather important. Because committing to something I am not convinced of or I will not be able to keep up with will not be worth my time. Yet at the same time, given that I have to be kind and forgiving to myself – and so should you – and also because learning from one’s own mistakes is a powerful learning tool, I definitely expect to take a few wrong steps. Maybe one, maybe more.  What matters is that I learn from my mistakes – and so should you – and in time I will learn to choose my “One A Day” wisely.

Here are a few examples of the “One A Day” changes you or I can make:

• Check email just twice a day as opposed to every 15 minutes (set a time in the morning and a time in the afternoon, unless your business depends on sending prompt replies – truth be told, few jobs are like that, but somehow we make them look that way because  we love the excitement of checking the email a few times every hour)
• Start the day by doing a few deep breathing exercises – this could take a few minutes of your time and the benefits are tremendous
• Go to bed no later than 11pm – no need to explain (as I write this past midnight, I feel like I should start with this as my first)
• Write down two reasons for being grateful each day (increase to five as you settle yourself in)
• If you work from home, do not pick up the phone during your working hours no matter how big the temptation to do so. If someone wants to communicate with you, as opposed to just wasting your time, they will leave a message and yes, that message will be blinking quietly until the time comes for you to listen to it. 

Please feel free to add your “One A Day” suggestions and if you care to adopt the program, please share your successes as well. If we want to make the world a better place we have to start by changing ourselves into better, happier people. Start today.
My first “One A Day” is early bedtime. It won’t be easy but I will do it. Wait, didn’t I say small baby steps? Well, never mind. Let’s do it. And STICK WITH IT!
 

I didn’t go for my evening run for a few days. Life is very stressful at the moment and I found myself mentally and physically exhausted at the end of the day. Yet the daily run was helping me relax. Skipping it was not wise.
Wisdom comes in many shapes and forms. My two boys are quite passionate about Star Wars lately and it seems that I had to look no further for wise words. “Do… or do not. There is no try” Yoda says in episode V. That simple. It stopped me in my tracks. No excuses. Either do it or don’t. Sometimes doing it means challenging ourselves. It may go against what we feel like doing at that particular moment. While I am a big believer in listening to my body and feeling in tune to it, I also know that amidst challenging situations my mind enters a state of panic and I have to force myself to overcome that overwhelming feeling of anxiety by going against that temporary “I don’t feel like doing anything” state of mind. Hence I went for a run, I cleared my head and I realized that I can once again return to the path I thought I lost. Another way to help myself is writing down the tumultuous thoughts that seem to take over my brain and then the sky clears up. But taking the step from not doing it to doing it is one of the toughest challenges. I’m pretty sure it is like that for most people. Yet no matter what we choose to do it is crucial that we do it. So here’s a thought: become action-driven as opposed to hesitantly trying to do something. It pays off. Yoda was right.
 

I never liked skiing. There, I said it. I tried it when I was in grade four for the first time, tried another time two years later and was not impressed. The decision to stay away from it for ever seemed a logical one. I skate, climb, run, bike, so I cannot be enlisted in the couch potato category. But I did not feel the need to pursue a sport I was not good at, although one can argue that this is how challenges are born. Yesterday was the day when I put my anxiety aside, and yes, I did mumbled and grumbled all the way to the snowy slope, but did get on it, ski boots and all. And the surprise blew my mind beyond words. I can ski! And I am quite good at it too, for a beginner, I might say. Going downhill with the wind in my face and my legs doing their job in a most amazing way was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. My conviction that I can’t ski was shattered to pieces and my confidence level went through the roof.
Lesson number one: Never say never. I finally know what it means. For me at least, it goes like this: never let anyone tell me that I can’t do a certain thing. Never tell myself that I can’t do something. As long as there is at least one other person doing it, I am capable of doing it too. And if no one does it yet but I still want to go for it, I shall be inspired by the fact that I might challenge someone to shatter their limiting beliefs. It’s a win-win situation for everyone, really.
Lesson number two: Trust myself that I can do everything that I set my mind to. Yes, my mom was right. Too cheesy, you say? Sure, if you choose to look at it that way. It is true that most things will be achieved with a lot of work, but to get there, to be able to put all the work into it, I have to first believe in it and believe in myself. Cheesy or not, the whole concept is a lot harder to accomplish than it seems. The best part is that the more things one does, the higher the confidence levels. The sky is the limit.  And then again, some people take it higher. I guess there are no limits…